VINCE'S JOURNAL

IF I WERE KING
The first thing I'd do is interview some athlete after the game and make him tell the truth --

KING: Boy that was some game, Mike. Almost unbelievable that you scored five touchdowns in the last quarter and put all those opposing linebackers out of commission with your punishing runs up the middle.

ATHLETE: Yeah, it was a superb effort on my part. And don't forget those lightning sweeps around the end. I ruined a lot of people's careers, breaking their legs, smashing their mouths. What a pitiful bunch of wimps! Actually, I could have scored even more points if my teammates hadn't kept trying to hog all the glory by running interference. I could have knocked those opposing dummies down all by myself. I don't need nobody. I am the greatest that ever played the game!

WEATHER
More drizzles today. I'm getting tired of it. The weather guy on TV says the rainfall is 180 percent of normal. It's been a long time since I've heard any talk about a drought, which is usually the main topice of conversation this time of year. The Mountains are full of snow, guaranteeing our water supply for the year. Thank God the gutters are working at least halfass well.

GOLF
My new swing is still working. Been a whole week now since I've tinkered with it. The main thing to remember is not to quit on the shot, but to whip the club through whether I think the club is in the groove or not.

GARDENING
The herb garden now includes the essentials: onions, garlic, rosemary, bayleaves, parsley. The six broccoli plants are doing great after a long period of dormancy while I was in doubt about their ability to produce. But darn it, it looks like each plant will produce only one head.

PETS
Tommy the cat and the pug dog had a long romp today. Pug is a real comedian. Her main interest in life -- after eating -- is to race around the large fenced-in backyard at 90 miles an hour. Not going anywhere, just tearing around. And while Pug does that, Tommy the cat hides behind the big board leaning against the basement window (the one I broke with a golf ball). On each circuit the pug charges at Tommy just for the hell of it. Tommy is quite relaxed about the whole game. All he does is crouch behind the board. On every circuit when Pug comes close, Tommy just sticks out a bored paw and slashes at Pug's nose. No blood yet.

MAC TALK
I've still got my website at vincejohnson.net. It's been kind of neglected while I've been working on this blog. Doesn't matter though. In the two years the website has been up I don't think it's ever had a hit.

MEDICAL DISASTERS
The doc gave me a prescription for a minor ailment. I went to pick it up. $105 bucks! I told 'em to keep it. But you may die a screaming death, cautioned the clerk. I said, well at least I won't die screaming and broke too.

SEXUAL PREFERENCE (I'm in favor of it)
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NOW HERE'S THE REAL REASON FOR MY JOURNAL

I PLAN TO GET RICH

It's not a complicated plan.

Just a simple little concept.

THE WHOLE IDEA IS TO GET YOU TO MAKE ME RICH!

GET IT?

See, to make me rich, all you have to do is:

1) Get on PayPal and
2) Email me five or ten bucks --->> vgjohnson@wizwire.com

Simple, isn't it? Yet so incredibly powerful!

And each day I'll report in my journal how much cash I've taken in.

That way you get in on the excitement too!

BTW, if you don't send me any money then at least email your flimsy excuse to: vgjohnson@wizwire.com

If I think your excuse is imaginative, showing deep thought, I may let it slide.

NOW HERE'S HOW MUCH CASH I'VE COLLECTED SO FAR ---->>: $00.00. NADA, ZIP.
What, nothing yet? What is happening?! This is unbelievable! I mean, come on, gang! Puhleeze! How tough can this be?

Now here's YOUR Payoff:
You Get to Read All the Exciting Stuff in My Daily Journal! (while thousands cheer).

Is that a deal or what?

Okay, let's get this thing rolling.

Don't be a slacker.

Vince