VINCE'S JOURNAL II
January 7, 2005

IF I WERE KING
The first thing I'd do is eliminate all the BS on TV commercials. For example, we've all seen the nonsensical ad exhorting us to get a high school diploma so that during our lifetime we can earn @200,000 more than some poor sap without a diploma.

But what good is a diploma when kids getting out of high school can't read or write? No amount of instruction on computer skills can make up for the inability to write plain English. It is just a fatal ignorance.

There should be some kind of a practical test for teenagers to take which will demonstrate whether or not they have been educated enough to read and understand an instruction manual telling them how to do some useful job for which employers will pay them a salary.

You don't need a diploma in your pocket to follow the instructions in a manual.

WEATHER
No rain for three days. But I'm not worried yet. Precipitation totals stand at about 150 percent of normal. Cold mornings.

GOLF
I have learned that when I'm missing shots, half hitting the ball, topping the ball, those errors are generally caused by quitting on the swing. I believe that the reason so many of us can't drive the ball down the middle with adequate power is because we steer the club into the ball, trying to make sure we don't whiff it.

But the hit happens too fast for such a deliberate swing. It is much more effective to follow Jack Nicklaus' advice -- just make your swing, and let the ball be an incidental object that lies in the path of the club. That way you won't quit on the shot, even on short pitches. The hit is made with the right hand, whipping the club through the ball.

GARDENING
The next door neighbor rooted out a very large stand of blackberry bushes in his backyard and burned them. Made quite a pile of ashes. Nephew Jim's been working in our yard. He went over and got permission to haul the ashes over to the compost pile in our backyard. We now have a huge compost pile, chock full of horse manure, rotting leaves, wood chips, top soil, coffee grounds, banana peels -- you name it. It's all set for the spring vegetable garden.

And do you know that if a compost pile is working right it generates heat? I can feel the heat from that pile. The rising heat is even visible in the cold morning air.

PETS
My sister's pug. Every morning that little mutt races over to my apartment, which is separate from the main house. Pug knows that she can always count on getting a snack from me, usually a hot dog. Pugs are natural comedians. Her favorite demonstration of joy at the prospect of food is to race around in circles until exhausted.

MAC TALK
The damn mail program went down. Couldn't send, couldn't receive. I called up the internet server for advice. Two technicians had different opinions, advising me to do this and that. One kept asking me if I had the authorization set right. Another thought that perhaps my computer was busted. Nothing worked. Finally I clicked authorization OFF so that no authorization was required. Problem solved.

MEDICAL DISASTERS
Went to the doc for a checkup. As an afterthought I asked him for a flu shot. Sure, he said, no problem. I guess the flu shot shortage is over.

AND A FEW MORE WISE-ASS REMARKS
Hey, I got one of those portable steam cleaners. Works great in cleaning all the little nooks and crannies in the refrigerator. Great for the microwave too. Doesn't work as well on the stove as demonstrated on TV. Hard to get rid of the black stuff around the electric burners.

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NOW HERE'S THE REAL REASON FOR MY JOURNAL

I PLAN TO GET RICH

It's not a complicated plan.

Just a simple little concept.

THE WHOLE IDEA IS TO GET YOU TO MAKE ME RICH!

GET IT?

See, to make me rich, all you have to do is:

1) Get on PayPal and
2) Email me five or ten bucks --->> vgjohnson@wizwire.com

Simple, isn't it? Yet so incredibly powerful!

And each day I'll report in my journal how much cash I've taken in.

That way you get in on the excitement too!

BTW, if you don't send me any money then at least email your flimsy excuse to: vgjohnson@wizwire.com

If I think your excuse is imaginative, showing deep thought, I may let it slide.

NOW HERE'S HOW MUCH CASH I'VE COLLECTED SO FAR ---->>: $00.00.
Nothing yet? What is happening?! This is unbelievable! I mean, come on, gang! Puhleeze! How tough can this be?

Now here's YOUR Payoff:
You Get to Read All the Exciting Stuff in My Daily Journal! (while thousands cheer).

Is that a deal or what?

Okay, let's get this thing rolling.

Don't be a slacker.

Vince