VINCE'S JOURNAL
June 25, 2005

Here's looking at you Bogie.

HOME IMPROVEMENT

Went up on the roof to unplug the gutters and down spouts around my garage apartment. Finally. That is so typical of me. It quit raining a month ago so now when the gutters aren't needed, that's when I go up there to fix it. But heck, you wouldn't expect met to go up there in the rain, would you.

The ladder was real rickety so I had to be careful as hell, and it's too short so I couldn't get a flat angle for climbing up. Well, I don't mean to explain the universe to you, but when a ladder is too upright it keeps wanting to fall over backwards and you have to hug it close and bump your nose on the rungs. Typical of the kind of equipment I have to work with around here.

It was in the 80s today but reasonably cool down on the ground in the shade. But when I got up on the roof (it's flat), the composition roofing matrial was so hot I burned my hands and knees getting off the ladder and pulling myself up. I had to stand up quick.

Had to jam a hose down the spouts to get them unplugged. At least nwo I'm ready for the next rainy season.

GOLF
Any 79 year old grandma can hit a ball farther than I can. There is some trick to swinging the club that I have never been able to figure out.

Jack Nicklaus says, all you do is make your swing and let the ball get in the way. He says he keeps his hands passive and just swings the club down and out. What a load of bull. He's just not telling the secret.

Arnold Palmer used to say, just take the club straight back and then pull down with the left hand. Horse feathers! You ever see Arnie hit a golf ball? I will guarantee you he does not take the club straight back and then pull down with the left hand. At the age of 76 he still winds up and hits the the bejabbers out of the ball.

Tiger Wood's dad used to tell him to take the club back with the left shoulder. Look, Ma, no hands!

John Daly says, GRIP IT AND RIP IT!

Now there's some advice anybody can understand. Simple, you know? But that doesn't work for me either. What I want to know is, how do you swing a club so you don't top the ball, hit behind the ball, scuff it, sklaff it, shank it, whiff it?

GARDENING
The tomato plants are finally beginning to produce some baby little green marbles. Well, I should hope so, after we hauled in two truckloads of horse manure. a couple yards of sawdust, a few bucikets of ashes from blackberry bushes and oak tree limbs. And coffee grounds and banana peels. Can't for get those.

And do you know that if a compost pile is working right it generates heat? I could feel the heat from that pile when it was aging over the last year or so.

PETS
My sister's pug. Every morning that little mutt races over to my apartment, which is separate from the main house. Pug knows that she can always count on getting a snack from me, usually a hot dog. Pugs are natural clowns. Her favorite demonstration of joy at the prospect of food is to race around in circles until exhausted.

MAC TALK
Finally figured out how to post fotos to my blog.

MEDICAL DISASTERS
Hey, over the last couple weeks Ive gone on a weight lifting program. Trying to ward off osetoporosis. For barbells I use two 25-pound slugs of linotype metal, which I originallly intended to use for casting bullets for my .44 mag and the .45 ACP. Linotype metal is better than pure lead, because lead is too soft and messes up the lands and grooves of the barrel.

AND A FEW MORE WISE-ASS REMARKS
Hey, I got one of those portable steam cleaners. Works great in cleaning all the little nooks and crannies in the refrigerator. Great for the microwave too. Doesn't work as well on the stove as demonstrated on TV. Hard to get rid of the black stuff around the electric burners.

That's all, kids.
See you later

-------------------------
NOW HERE'S THE REAL REASON FOR MY JOURNAL

I PLAN TO GET RICH

It's not a complicated plan.

Just a simple little concept.

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GET IT?

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1) Get on PayPal and
2) Email me five or ten bucks --->> vgjohnson@wizwire.com

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And each day I'll report in my journal how much cash I've taken in.

That way you get in on the excitement too!

BTW, if you don't send me any money then at least email your flimsy excuse to: vgjohnson@wizwire.com

If I think your excuse is imaginative, showing deep thought, I may let it slide.

NOW HERE'S HOW MUCH CASH I'VE COLLECTED SO FAR ---->>: $00.00.
Nothing yet? What is happening?! This is unbelievable! I mean, come on, gang! Puhleeze! How tough can this be?

Now here's YOUR Payoff:
You Get to Read All the Exciting Stuff in My Daily Journal! (while thousands cheer).

Is that a deal or what?

Okay, let's get this thing rolling.

Don't be a slacker.

Vince